“Sue Actualization”

by Sue

Written last Sunday, the 2nd, shortly after the pilot announces we will be arriving at Laguardia on my flight from Houston:

For the first time I’m not particularly worried about anything, and there’s a sense of calm that washes over me. It’s a liberating feeling, something great that I hope that everyone gets to feel at one point in their lives. I have student loans that I have to pay off. I have a car note. I have some credit card debt, but they seem so inconsequential. I can overcome these things.

I think this is my year. And I have never felt this way before. I don’t exactly know what’s in store for me. I don’t know what exactly will make it my year. Will my job take off and lead me into a direction I want? Will I find someone special? Will I be able to save as much as I want for that down payment on a place of my own? All of the above maybe? At this point, while I’m 30000 feet up in the air, I feel like anything is possible. It’s so strange to think that only three months ago I started this crazy impulsive plan to move to a city where, even though I knew a few people, I would have to start fresh. Where I would be living alone for the first time, without a job or even prospects for one. It was daunting, and I remember at times I wanted to just cry because nothing was panning out. I thought I would have to go home, tail tucked between my legs, marked and labeled a failure. But now with this accomplishment of getting settled into a workplace that I actually really enjoy — I found myself missing work when I left at noon on Friday — and can see myself excelling, I feel very blessed. Very grateful.

I haven’t been blogging because of the above mentioned bit about my new job. Overtime is pretty crazy, but I still attempt to make time for me. This is the start of my new year. This is my true beginning. I set goals for myself at the beginning of the Georgian 2014 calendar and over the weekend, it’s become kind of a reminder. A reinforcement of sorts of these goals. This is my year, and I’m going to make it a fucking amazing 2014 as a 26 and almost 27 year old.